Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Yes, I'll admit that this isn't an original title.
In fact, it's taken from one of my favorite books of the same name by
Susan Jeffers. It's amazing how people react to fear. Fear causes some to
play ostrich and hide their heads to avoid what's in front of them. Fear acts
as a catalyst to others, and propels them into action. Fear causes a third set
to be totally immobilized and unable to do anything at all.
One of the most common concerns I hear from clients is their inability to live
the life that they truly want--a life that enables them to make a living, have
meaningful connections with others, and nourishes their souls. When I ask them
what's preventing them from creating that for themselves, the response I most
often hear is one that is fear-based: "I can't do that -- I have a mortgage to
pay." "What will my wife/husband/family think?" "I'll have time to do that
after I retire." Any of these sound familiar?
Around 10 years ago or so, when I was starting to do some career-transition
exploration, I stumbled across a company, Changing Course,
www.changingcourse.com, run by Valerie Young. On her site, Valerie tells
her story of how she came to quit her job and found her life when her mother
died unexpectedly of a heart attack at age 61, five months before her
much-awaited retirement and before she could do all the things she planned to do
after retiring. Bam! This story hit me squarely between the eyes!
At that time I had been stuck in a job that I was growing to hate, and daily
wondered, "Is this all there is? Is this the life that I was so eagerly
anticipating after college?" I was only about 32 at the time and was already
going though a mid-life crisis. I kept wondering what was wrong with
me--weren't people supposed to wait at least until 40 before going through
this? I was beginning to think I was completely insane.
I remember having countless conversations with my now ex-husband about this
issue and about what each of us wanted from life, and it was becoming
increasingly obvious that he was happy to settle for whatever life doled out to
him. I, on the other hand, am pretty driven and wanted to take the bull by the
horns and see where it would take me. I likened it to him sitting on the porch
watching a parade as it went by, while I was out in the parade. And, moreover,
I didn't want to wait until our retirement, as he suggested, to start living a
life the way I really wanted it, as I might not live long enough for that to
happen, like Valerie's mom. It was like talking to a brick wall--he just didn't
get it.
Now, here I am 10 years later, not quite where I want to be, but much closer
than if I'd stayed on the path I was on at age 32. What changed for me? I
simply decided I wasn't going to be scared anymore. Not of what my husband
thought, not of what my co-workers thought, not of what my family thought. I've
always been something of a risk-taker in my family, doing things none of them
had ever done nor even understood. However, I've never viewed the risks as
fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants risks, but rather as strategic risks. There was
always a plan in place, but at times it was probably only obvious to me.
So, what did I do? I decided I wanted to be nearer my family, convinced my ex
we wanted to relocate to Texas, decided to enroll in a virtual assistant
training program and completed it, quit my unfullfilling job, took a temp
position until I could get the business going and until we made the move,
discovered my ex didn't really want to relocate, decided my marriage wasn't
working, filed for divorce, put the house up for sale, secured a place to live
with my mom back in the bedroom in her house where I grew up, packed my
belongings for a cross-country move, held a major moving sale, moved halfway
across the country, and started a business out of my mom's garage. And people
make fun of me when I won't get on a roller coaster--I think that's easy
compared to a life transition of this magnitude!
I don't advocate that any of you face your fears quite to this degree...well, at
least not without a parachute and lots of padding. However, each of us faces
fears every day, especially if you own or manage a business. "How will I pay the
bills this month?" "What if that person doesn't hire me?" "I don't want to make
sales call." "Do I have to do business with this jerk?" I would bet that
whatever it is that you fear the most is the one thing standing in your way of
what you really want. Don't let fear rule your life--let your fear motivate you
to get to that next level in your life, business, or career.
Realize that the fear never completely goes away--it has this nasty habit of
creeping up on you when you least expect it. I currently hear it rustling in
the background in regard to a new opportunity for expansion that I'm
considering. I'm telling my fear, "Thanks for visiting, but you've overstayed
your welcome." Kick your fears to the curb an start living your life your way on
your own terms before it's too late!
(c) 2009 Donna Gunter
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Internet Marketing Automation
Coach Donna Gunter helps independent service professionals create prosperous
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Would you like to learn the specific Internet marketing strategies that get
results? Discover how to increase your visibility and get found online by
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